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Wade Wilson/sheet
Skills Annoying: I'm the best there is at what I do, and it's being annoying! TrueFax! Taskmaster said so! There's a quote from my comic where Gambit says that my most dangerous weapon is my mouth as I spout out nonsense and it's really distracting and really who cares? Assassin: I'm like supposedly a highly skilled infiltrator and assassin, and capable of sneaking my way past convoluted security systems into someone's inner lair where they tell me their super secret master plan and then I fight off their goons and I kill them, but generally I don't bother! Where's the fun in that when you can just BULLETS. I'm really good at sneaking around and bypassing past security doohickeys and being stealthy in my cardboard box (thank you Solid Snake), but where's the fun when you can just charge in shooting about wildly?? Demolitions: BOOM Shakka Lakka! I love blowing things up. They're awesome when they're destroyed. And So pretty with sparkles. So pretty! I'm fluent in most forms of explosives and detonators used by the military and am competent at setting them up, rigging up triggers for them, and also to disarm them. Though most of the time I go boom myself! Golden girls: I'm a fan! Bea Arthur is the greatest girl ever. And I will meet her someday in death! For she is the awesomest. I'm all about her and I know all sorts of useful trivia on the dame. I will meet her someday! Languages: I can speak a ton of languages! My wiki entry says so! I can speak more than a dozen languages and tell you that I did things to your mom! According to my wonderful fansites, I can speak Russian, Japanese, German, Spanish, Pashto, Urdu, and other cool languages too! Martial arts: I can go kung fu on your ass! I'm an incredibly talented and agile fighter (Taskmaster says so) who can beat up anyone! Even Snake-Eyes! I'm coming for you Fantomex! I'm really good at martial arts and like I can hold my own with anyone short of Captain America. Batman, I will wedgie you. I can hold my own with Taskmaster and beat up that wuss Batroc, and there was this time I kicked Captain America in the jimmies. Memes and pop culture: Look, I'm obligated to have this one down. If it's from the eighties or mid nineties, I'll know about it and be able to use it to drive you wacky. Snap into a slim jim! Basically if something's had an Internet site about it in the last fifteen years, I can make a dumb joke about it. Narrating: Someone's gotta keep my recap page up to date! Even if it's not canon. Ninja: I have leet neenja skeelz! Then again, this is Marvel, so who doesn't? But I can sneak around with my trusty cardboard box and be in ur base, stealin' ur stuff. Well, I guess an All Your Base joke really isn't a meme anymore.. I can break into most high tech bases run by Hydra or Advanced Idea Mechanics or.. Err.. Then I guess anyone can. I'm good at rigging up distractions to disrupt security and electronics to break into evil bases, but less so into heroic ones. Well, that and it's their comics, and no one -cares- when you give a wedgie to Madame Hydra. Shooting: BULLETS. They are so awesome. I'm great with guns and I'm all like PEW PEW and BANG BANG. I can shoot someone close up or far away! I prefer using things with lots of bullets though! I guess I'm specialized in semi automatics and those awesome hot dog guns. I can shoot accurately enough to shoot the explosive pin off a grenade with a pistol or shoot things Bullseye is throwing out of midair. Stabbing: Deadpool is really awesome at stabbing things. With sharp things, or not sharp things, or just things made to be sharp. Like I'm nearly as good at stabbing as Wolverine is! Only I just like to stab a lot more. I can cut bullets out of midair, make Taco Bell food actually spicy, and all sorts of awesome things with my swords! I'm capable of going sword to claw with Wolverine, though cheater he is he cuts through my swords! I can hold my own with world class swordsmasters, though a lot of it comes from my ability to heal super fast and distract them as well. With someone like Mister X, who has trained to overcome my ability to distract him (yea, this was a comic dudes), I'm much less effective! Powers and Abilities Agility: I can dance! I've got superhuman agility (which I'm told is different than reflexes) so i can do all sorts of nonsensical bouncy things like beat up on Olympic Athletes. So neener! Longevity: I'm effectively immortal due to my healing factor! Isn't that awesome! Oh, and that curse of Thanos thing. But is that canon here? Guess I'll read my background later! Reflexes: I got leet reflexes, yo! I can hack bullets out of midair, catch babies thrown by Bullseye at blinding speed, and get to the remote control before you do. Regeneration: Hey, I can heal from about anything! I come back from anything no matter how bad or how tough! My regeneration factor makes me worse than the Energizer Bunny when it comes to being squooshed! Anyways, I can regenerate to the point so long as a small amount of my body is left over, the entire portion can regenerate given enough time. Generally the largest mass will be what grows up first, but I do need a big chunk left over. If there are no large chunks of my body left over I'll sorta come back as a long, gooey mass. I can regrow limbs in minutes, fingers in seconds, tongue nearly instantaneously. I heal faster when I'm relaxed and fully fed, or not worn down. And I can have it overloaded to the point I'll heal slower than William Shatner doing a Russian documentary if I'm beaten up on enough. And I have to be in a position where I can properly heal to be able to, as if you tie me up and break my arms and I can't put them back to proper positioning, they'll keep breaking and healing. Also, that was a kinky, kinky demonstration you did of that my sexy MU* Director! Resistance: My healing factor makes me nearly immune to poisons, booze, alcohol, and Ben Stein. I can nearly instantly purge anything from my system, though booze and tranquilizers in high enough dosages can overload it and I can become incoherent. Then again, that also happens when I'm watching Telletubbies. Strength: I have above peak human strength. Somewhere beneath Captain America, but more than it took to carry the casket of Al's mom in Home Improvement. So say around six hundred pounds? Telepathic immunity: Not sure whether this should go in specials or not, but hey! Who cares. Anyways, due to my degrees of awesomeness no telepath in their right mind wants to read my brain. Sorta like being Joker's therapist. I can pick up things when broadcast, but the most powerful telepaths on the planet can't tell what I'm thinking. Or maybe they don't want to. Medium awareness: I realize I'm a comic book character played on a Comic Book Roleplay MUX by some geek. Yes, I'm going to mention all sorts of things like ansi and who's ass is shaking and everything going on both grids and that I'm reading your wiki pages and threatening to troll them. Basically I'm going to do everything I can to abuse the system and take your OOC as IC until staff threaten to banhammer me. :( Specials Celebrity: The fangirls love me! Okay, the love is purely OOC and.. Okay it exists in my head. That's close enough! But I'm famous for being annoying in both worlds. That's gotta count for something? I have video games, people complained about the Wolverine movie for messing me up rather than Logan! I'M IMPORTANT DANGIT! Immorta'''l: Technically I can't die. Because Thanos said so so I couldn't get hot mamma lovin' from Death. Also my healing factor ordinarily makes it really hard to kill me when I'm not exploding. Oh, it does prevent killing me when I'm exploding. So that too! Also I'm young but dumb so I'm gonna try and flirt with some of those really hot Kherubim girls! Resources, Gear, and Paraphernalia '''Deadhutt: Uhm, it's sorta my shin-digs where I live. It's got a ton of porn, cable, and my collection of Golden Girls DVD's. PRECIOUS. Explodies: I have more things that can blow up fast than Ted McGinley guest starring in a new series! From grenades to demolition charges to the guy who does Britney Spears rehab. Guns: I have lots of them! I can get any I want at any time! From Liefeldian BFG's, to more esoteric ones. Not as many as Punisher though! But I can get a gun at anytime. I want the one that shoots swords.. Image inducer: It's a holo thingamadohickey that tends to explode that makes me look normal and stuff. It only makes me look normal, doesn't make me normal though! Magic satchel: I can pull guns from out of nowhere. Surprisingly, I do not keep them in pouches! It involves an awful lot of lube and a place airport security never thinks to look, SUCKERS! Stabbies: I have lots of things that can stab people. My precious.. Because I want to stab people! My favorites are these real big, real nice pair of katanas. Teleporter: I have this teleporter, AIM tech that Weasel worked on for me. It can teleport me anywhere on the planet with the words 'Bodyslide' and send me anywhere I want to go that's mapped within it's GPS. Also, every third teleport it malfunctions like the one from Sliders cuz I've been playing too much Ultimate Marvel Versus Capcom 3... Weasel: He's this geek guy. I like to give him wedgies. But he's amazing with tech and does most of my stuff. I hold his Tivo with episodes of Battlestar Galactica and Fringe hostage. He's a wuss otherwise. But like when he thinks I'm a jerk he'll leave cuz he's an emo guy like that. Both: I got a thingamadoodle that lets me go between Both worlds! Staff okay'd it! That means I can go to the Marvel Grid or the DC ones! IN YOUR FACE BATMAN! Also totally not justifying it because I just can. Flaws and Drawbacks Annoying: I'm an annoying guy! No one wants to work with me. Ya dig and stuff? YA DIG!! I talk a lot and I talk nonstop, and I keep on talking. This can make it really hard for people fighting me to focus 'cuz I never shut up! Domino said so! Attention span: Oooh look a -- DAMN YOU SQUIRREL GIRL!! But, yo, I'm really, really, really, ..., really, really short attention spanned, and suck at plans, listening, cooperating for plans, that kinda stuff. Cancer: CANCERCANCERCANCER. I have this cancer, and it's always eating away at me and rotting me up and I'm always healing from it. I can't get rid of it without undoing my healing factor. It's a part of me, of who I am. Imagine yourself always rotting, and always regenerating as you constantly rot. Welcome to my world. Deathwish: From the notes of Doctor Bong, Deadpool's Psychiatrist I believe that many of Deadpool's base issues stem from the fact that he truly wishes to die. He wishes a spectacular death, but ultimately he wishes to die and the majority of his behaviors are suicidal in nature. The irony of his power giving him effective immortality is so rich as to be almost cosmic in nature. But, the subject's behaviors seem to make himself a target on purpose, in the wishes that he can end his own suffering. Friends: From the notes of Doctor Bong Deadpool, in his innermost self, truly hates himself. He believes he is an abhorrent person who does wrong things. And he also believes he is inwardly cursed, as is any who have an association with him. Thus, Deadpool seeks to drive any who might give him support or affection away before they become close to him so they do not become ruined by his association. Friends, lovers.. Any who might provide him with emotional support he purposefully alienates as much as he can. I believe if this factor of Deadpool's behavior could be corrected and he could find those who can tolerate him to provide emotional support, his behavior would immensely improve. Insane: From the journals of Doctor Bong Deadpool is certifiably insane to an exponential degree. He talks to people who are not there, believes himself and others are fictional characters, among other things. Combined with his immensely short attention span this has ruined his reputation as a mercenary. Despite his insanely formidable skills, no one wishes to hire or work with him due to his inability to follow any form of plan, and most shudder simply at being in his general area. His lack of professionalism is a crippling flaw to his future and current employment prospects. Never shuts up: Hey, I'm doing this flaw in that I never, ever shut up! Well there was my movie version but we pretend he didn't happen. So long as I have a mouth, I will talk. Even if I'm a head. If you tear my tongue out, it will heal. I just keep on gabbing and gabbing and it really makes people hate me and focus on me and fights and ruins it when I sneak around. If no one's around I'll talk to myself and you unseen viewers just for comedy! Weapon x: They're after me! Weapon Adjective or whatever. THey wanna hunt me and kill me and put tubes into me and make me look like a Rocky Horror Reject! Save me!! Wolverine: Because I annoy him so much and he wants to gut me and I make him cry about my comments of him and his jailbait asian thing. Deadpool: Basically the biggest flaw about Deadpool is being Deadpool. I hate myself, I have a death wish, I want love but I stop myself from getting it as I don't deserve it.. And look, this isn't in Bong's voice because I can't justify it. So consider this an OOC note then summarizing things. The reason I suck is ultimately going to mostly be me. Relationships James Howlett - Wolverine is the best there is at what he does, and what he does isn't pretty. So he runs around lounging in women's underwear! I have photographic proof! Also I have his healing factor from a freakish experiment gone wrong and we're Canadian. He's also really pretty when he's sobbing. Also he's a wuss. Cable - Yes he doesn't exist here I'm aware of that. #$#! canon and app restrictions on time travelers. Still gonna call it because I gotta have someone to pin the pouch on. Pinkie Pie - SCREW YOU THAT FANFIC IS CANON. Fangirls - You know me. You want me. You love me! Pretty please? With sugar? I have chocolate! The MU* Staff - They're letting me play the character after all! Anything I do you can blame on them. Deathstroke - He's my alternate universe twin! Actually he's not I mean the same soul self and everything doesn't apply, but that's not gonna stop me from messing with him. Sabretooth - He's a really bad smelling moose. I mean Canadian. Also he gutted the (two) girl I ever loved. For that, we shall meet Ruroni Kenshin style. Death - I love her. Someday I will be with her. I think of her every day. I want to be with her. To be happy. Also both Deaths. Because one is bony, the other's a Goth. Or are they the same? I dun wanna hafta read the news files on omniversal aspects! Bea Arthur - Because I'm obligated dangit to mention this. Mexican Food - At a highly disturbing level. THE TACOS. THE TACOS. The Fourth Wall - We have an adversarial relationship. I make passes at it, and it drops bricks and splats my brain. Oh, sorry, staff is telling me I'm having too many relationship stats which are completely nonsense and don't count so gotta have some real ones now. DAMMIT. Your Mom - I lied. STOP HITTING ME. Harley Quinn - I will find her in the other world and we will be awesome together and I will steal her from Joker. SEE? BEING SERIOUS NOW. Copycat - The second girl I ever loved. Maybe third. She's dead. Because of me. Because I failed. She was too good for me. Maybe someday she'll come back. But I can't hurt her again. I'll always carry her with me in spirit. Because it was the one time I was happy. Shiklah '- Okay I know that she's not appable here but dangit Wade wants to get lucky! 'Typhoid Mary '- She messed me in the head good. She's a scary, messed up gal. I'm so sorry for everything she's gone through.. But please, stop the hurting. 'Loki - He made me a hot looking Hollywood stud muffin for his own amusement. I WILL END HIM. The Yellow Word Boxes - Look I'm doing this as Mello asked me on an alt. And he's totally right. I can't believe I forgot you baby. Also can you stop insulting me? Why are the voices in my head so mean? The Narrator - You know, the big kahuna. The person who does the adjectives, the text boxes. The one who sets the scenes, who makes the play. Well, ALSO Stan Lee. Category:Sheets Category:Earth-24800 Sheets